Blog Readers!
I'm so eager that you are reading my blog. It's a specialized kind ... only about my bad boyfriends. I've had so many bad ones!
(One good one also, but the blog is not about him, so no point asking.)
You should know about me, I'm such a sex-hungry girl. I get a boyfriend, and too soon I'm sexing with him. So much sex! Really, it's an idea full of awful to not talk enough with a boyfriend before sexing. But this idea of awfulness is always the pattern of Akane. So habitual!
(Except newest, best-ever boyfriend. But remember, no asking about him! It's not a blog for tales of good boyfriend.)
Does your past have a bad boyfriend? Then you know, once you break up, it's, "Ugh. Boyfriends! So not worth it, even when the sex is a big success." The same for Akane. Break up with bad boyfriend, then, "No more for a while. Maybe ever!"
But I'm so sex-hungry. Broken-up Akane = masturbator of relentless. Soooo very masturbating all the time.
Eventually there's a failure of masturbation. Insufficient! Fingers aren't enough. Vibrators = okay, but you don't get to feel them creaming in you. Sure, nice to orgasm, but orgasm + creaming = Akane's paradise. When there's no sex, I get just too lonely for a creaming penis.
It's embarrassing ... but sex-hungry Akane is so bad at decisions!
"Hmm. Cute guy asking me out. Should I?"
No, Akane, remember the last dodger you broke up with!
"Hmm. I am out with this guy but his talk is so boring. What if he's very good in bed, though? Maybe I should find out."
No, Akane! He's boring! What are you thinking???
Pretty soon he's my boyfriend and we are having so much sex in my small apartment because I am so sex-hungry from having no boyfriend. That part's pretty good, having all this sex. But sooner or later, it can't be all sex, I need to have interests with him. So we talk about interests.
Then I find out, "How are his interests so lame?" or "He has good interests, but why does he make them so boring when he talks about them?" or his interests are maybe okay, but when I tell him mine, he says, "Yawn. That's so boring. Listen to me talk more now."
I can't have a boyfriend only for having so much sex with. It works for a while, but then we talk about interests or I learn something about him is disgusting, and I have to break up. (Or sometimes they break up with me, but not usually, because I'm so sex-hungry and honestly really very good at sex.)
So, there's a history of many, many dodgy boyfriends in the past of Akane. It could be a textbook.
Except instead, it's a blog, because my good boyfriend of wonderful now told me lately, "Akane, your stories of bad boyfriends are hilarious beyond comprehending. You should share them with everyone!"
Which means here we are, Blog Readers!
Are you ready?
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