Explanation!

Blog Readers!

Maybe it's not clear how I got to have such a plenty of dodger boyfriends. If you want to understand better, here are some words about it.

Okay, so I only have sex with boyfriends, never some swingy dodger from a club. Club guys? I think they're unreliable. "Your dancing excels! We should have sex!" "Yes, sure, it's a logical next step!" If this results in many-orgasms sex, and after, zip, he's gone and never shows up again, it's such frustration at only having the many-orgasms sex with him once. Or, if he's sex-bad, why did I bother in place number one? If sex is with a boyfriend, and good, you know he'll be back. Boyfriend + bad sex still equals some dinners and there could be a movie or two before breakup. Plus maybe he's funny and bad sex can be tolerated a while.

With club guys it's a gamble. No club guys for Akane, only boyfriends!

But you know, I'm easy to convince to be a girlfriend. It's because, remember, after breakups I get sex-crazed. So a cute guy says hi in a coffee shop, and very quickly we're flirting, and I say something like, "Haha, it's good you're so cute, because I need a boyfriend!" Does this ever fail? No, never. It's flirting, flirting, "Would you like to go for dinner?" "Yes, please!" "How is your udon?" "Tasty! Slurp!" I always order udon noodles and slurp them until he's ready to bust seams in his pants. "Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!" "So, um ... what is your job?" "Sexy doll site model! It's my laziest talent. So easy to earn money just from having such breasts and hanging them out a bit." "Um ..." "Take your phone out, I'll tell you the URL so you can see. Slurp!"

Very soon, he's my boyfriend. Sometimes it takes two dinners. But only when I'm a little less sex-hungry. 

We get back to my place, and he says, "Um ... I have condoms" or "Do you have condoms?" First kind, we use a condom because he's gentlemanly with this preparation. If he has two squeezes of cream available, it's condoms for both of them. If he has three, bashful Akane appears at the third start and says, "You know, you can skip it if you're my boyfriend ..." Second kind, I just say, "You didn't bring them? I only have no-condom sex with a boyfriend." Either way, he's my boyfriend before we're done. Then, you know, it's routine. So much sex.

Does this make the bad-boyfriend history of Akane more sensible to you, Blog Readers?

I hope so.

Next time, back to real stories of dodgers!

Gift-Card Dodger (Part Two)

Okay, so you know ... it's sex-hungry Akane when she hasn't had a boyfriend in a while. I was so sex-hungry when Gift-card Guy gift-carded me!

And even though I didn't orgasm that time, and even though my futon = death by flood of cream, and even though I felt sticky all over for so many days ... Blog Readers, he creamed me for so long. There's no breaking up with someone who can cream like that, at least not soon.

I love the creaming, okay? Akane must be sperm-filled!

There I am ... he didn't stay because, "Wow, disgusting futon. Sorry, not sleeping on that!" I'm alone and sticky. There's still so much inside me!

His cream = lube for my vibrator. I masturbate so hard with it!

Almost enough to make up for the no-orgasm sex.

Now I think, "The secret's out! He's such an extended creamer! Even if I don't orgasm from his sexing next time, I know I can grind on his spurt-spurt-spurting penis until I do. Then he can be a boyfriend with value."

There's a predictable outcome, right? He never did that again.

Very fast with his orgasm, cream amount all normal, no orgasm for Akane.

Plus.

Readers.

Those gift cards!

He worked at a company or something. It was all scamming! No one gave him gift cards!

We could only eat places he had cards to. When he's out of cards? More too-fast sex in my apartment. I never even asked him about interests.

Five or six bad sexings in, I broke up with that dodger just for being so bad at sex.

(The End)

...

Uh-oh. The embarrassment of imbalance! This part, too much shorter than Part One!

Readers, I'm so sorry. Now you think Akane's blog will always disappoint.

Be more careful, Akane! Plan more ahead! If there will be two parts, measure the lengths!

Blogging ... what a challenge. I should have consulted with girlfriends and boyfriend -- bloggers of experience! Girlfriends, boyfriend, you must advice me!

I'll be more careful for future blogging, Readers, I promise.

Please don't abandon the blog of Akane!

Gift-Card Dodger (Part 1)

One boyfriend, I met at the bookstore. Right away you think, "Can't be SO bad, shopping in the bookstore?" Wrong, though! This dodger followed me in when I wasn't looking! (He told me later ... like he was proud of it!)

Hmm-hm-hmmm, thinks Akane shopping for books. She takes one off the shelf (fantasy section). "Oh, Miss! That's a good one, trust me!" Is it a helping shop staff boy? No, just some guy, okay-level cute. His hair, though ... messy! It's a bad haircut mixed with no-good combing. But he smiles so nicely and has smart-guy-ish glasses. I like smart guys! "What's it about?" (I only thought the cover looked like a promise of excitement ... steampunk girl with very large gun and breasts.) "Oh, it's so good! I won't burgle your reading joy with spoilers. So, so good! Look, I'll buy it for you and also take you to coffee, how about it?"

Free book + free coffee + smart-looking and okay-cute guy = "Sure, yes! Thank you so much!"

At the counter, he has a gift card. Okay, so he's not spending big on me, just a guy with spare gift-card money. But then ... same at the cafe! No trouble though, right? Somebody likes this guy enough to give him gift cards, I think.

Coffee wrecks the will of Akane! Tasty and the odor, so good!

Gift-card Guy has a hot stare.

Blog Readers, his stare! SO hot.

He's talking this and that. I ask what novelists appeal most for him, and it's warning sign number 1! "Oh, I don't pay so much attention to authors." That dodger! But he's staring at me so hot while he talks, and his smile has nice enthusiasm too.

I'm thinking, "This guy wants to have sex with you, Akane. Do you want ANOTHER right-away sex-doing boyfriend?" Then I'm thinking, "I don't know, I'm so sex-hungry!" Too hard to think looking at such a hot stare.

"So ... you must have a boyfriend, right? It's obvious, considering how pretty you are."

"No, I broke up with the last one."

"What a loser!" He laughs so loud! It makes me mad, a little. He thinks I'd be dating a loser! But still ... it's true, isn't it, Akane? (Yes, last guy was a loser. Ugh, such a bad boyfriend! Loud with snoring and many farts in the night! So gaseous.) "Let me tell you, Akane, if I was your boyfriend I'd guarantee it ... you won't want to break up, ever!" (Wrong!) "I'll be so good in the boyfriend department!" (Nope.) "Let me take you to dinner!"

So that night we're in my apartment making sex. He's doing okay, pretty good in the erection area, a very fast thruster. "Uh! Uh! Uh! Akane! Uh! Uh! Uh!" Not so creative in the sex-talk area, and very grunty. My vagina really wants his cream, though, so it doesn't mind the gruntiness. "Uh! Uh! Uhhhh!" So ... uh-oh, he sounds close. No orgasm yet for Akane!  The sex is good enough, penis doing an all-right job, but it's so soon ... not yet! 

(I orgasm very fast, mostly. But I didn't tell you, he has glasses off for the sex, and without them, his eyes are so crossed! There's okay sex happening in my vagina, but the crossed eyes ... so distracting.)

 "UH! UH! UH! AHHHKANE!"

So disappointing! His very first time in me, and he's so impolite he can't wait until I get my orgasm? I feel his cream ejecting into me and I love being creamed so much, but I'm too far from an orgasm. No point even to grind hard and hope I reach it before he stops expelling.

But, Blog Readers.

His penis won't finish! Spurt! Spurt! Spurt! It just continues! He's not pushing or grunting anymore, just lying on me with a hose-penis ejecting huge volumes of cream into my vagina. He does some moaning too.

How much is in him?!?

My belly feels hot and slippery-full with such a gooey river of cream ...I realize, "I should have tried grinding!" But how could I know it would go on so long?

Spurt! Spurt! Spurt!

Readers, there's cream starting to leak out from around his penis where it goes into me! How is there so much?

"Hey! You!" I shake him ... he's snoring! He's asleep with his penis still in me and orgasming! "Wake up!"

"What???"

He's too startled! He jumps up, out comes his penis, not stopping at all! Cream everywhere! It's flying all over my belly and legs, all over the futon! I'm covered in so much of it, dripping and glopping everywhere, like in a bukkake but it's only him!

"Stop! Stop! It's too messy!"

Put your mouth on it, Akane! It can't go on forever!

I have to put my hands before my face to get to it ... cream covers my fingers and the palms, runs down my arms to the elbows. I squeeze shut my eyes to move my hand and swallow him. It's all over my face before I find his penis-end with my mouth. I lean hard forward and gulp and gulp ... it won't stop! It's hot down my throat and into my tummy, slick and squishy! Down below, so much is leaking from my vagina down my legs. My poor futon!

He still won't stop!

"Sorry! Sorry! This is original for me! Ahhhh, it's ... uhhhhh!"

Finally, I hit him very hard in his guts.

"Ow!"

The creaming stops. He falls back onto his butt. The cream is everywhere, my face, my breasts. my hair, my stomach ... bulging my tummy where I drank so much, draining out from belly through my vagina, running down my legs ... and what does he say?

"Do you always get so messy with sex? It was very good, but you should take a bath now, Akane."

I just crawled to his shirt and used it to wipe up all his leakage.

(The end (of part 1))

Hi! It's me, Akane!

Blog Readers!

I'm so eager that you are reading my blog. It's a specialized kind ... only about my bad boyfriends. I've had so many bad ones! 

(One good one also, but the blog is not about him, so no point asking.)

You should know about me, I'm such a sex-hungry girl. I get a boyfriend, and too soon I'm sexing with him. So much sex! Really, it's an idea full of awful to not talk enough with a boyfriend before sexing. But this idea of awfulness is always the pattern of Akane. So habitual!

(Except newest, best-ever boyfriend. But remember, no asking about him! It's not a blog for tales of good boyfriend.)

Does your past have a bad boyfriend? Then you know, once you break up, it's, "Ugh. Boyfriends! So not worth it, even when the sex is a big success." The same for Akane. Break up with bad boyfriend, then, "No more for a while. Maybe ever!"

But I'm so sex-hungry. Broken-up Akane = masturbator of relentless. Soooo very masturbating all the time.

Eventually there's a failure of masturbation. Insufficient! Fingers aren't enough. Vibrators = okay, but you don't get to feel them creaming in you. Sure, nice to orgasm, but orgasm + creaming = Akane's paradise. When there's no sex, I get just too lonely for a creaming penis.

It's embarrassing ... but sex-hungry Akane is so bad at decisions!

"Hmm. Cute guy asking me out. Should I?"

No, Akane, remember the last dodger you broke up with!

"Hmm. I am out with this guy but his talk is so boring. What if he's very good in bed, though? Maybe I should find out."

No, Akane! He's boring! What are you thinking???

Pretty soon he's my boyfriend and we are having so much sex in my small apartment because I am so sex-hungry from having no boyfriend. That part's pretty good, having all this sex. But sooner or later, it can't be all sex, I need to have interests with him. So we talk about interests.

Then I find out, "How are his interests so lame?" or "He has good interests, but why does he make them so boring when he talks about them?" or his interests are maybe okay, but when I tell him mine, he says, "Yawn. That's so boring. Listen to me talk more now."

I can't have a boyfriend only for having so much sex with. It works for a while, but then we talk about interests or I learn something about him is disgusting, and I have to break up. (Or sometimes they break up with me, but not usually, because I'm so sex-hungry and honestly really very good at sex.)

So, there's a history of many, many dodgy boyfriends in the past of Akane. It could be a textbook.

Except instead, it's a blog, because my good boyfriend of wonderful now told me lately, "Akane, your stories of bad boyfriends are hilarious beyond comprehending. You should share them with everyone!"

Which means here we are, Blog Readers!

Are you ready?